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Happy mother with her baby
Tania zum Berater: «Es ist wunderbar, Hilfe von aussen zu erhalten!»

«The baby’s heart is already beating!»

«I am totally confused. I really have no idea what I should do», Tania (22) writes to the SAMC emergency call center. She is 6 weeks pregnant and doesn’t know whether she should keep her baby. She simply wanted to tell someone what she was going through. It doesn’t take Tania long before she is in contact with a SAMC counselor who can sympathize with her and be there for her during this difficult phase of life.

«I’ve always been against abortion, but …»

The counselor writes back to Tania and confirms that it was right for her to contact the SAMC. He describes the foundation’s willingness to help and assures her that together they can find a solution. He advises her not to think about abortion because it will not make her happy. A child is never born to destroy the mother’s life, but rather to give her joy and happiness! He encourages her to not only to see problems, but also to be open to a turn for the better. She could get help from the SAMC!

Both Tania and her boyfriend, the father of the child, still have a large part of their studies ahead of them. She is therefore afraid that having a child will put a strain on her life and that of her boyfriend. He absolutely wants her to have an abortion. He wants everything to be the same as before. His parents also don’t want to have anything to do with this child. And they make it clear: there would be no support from them.

Tania’s mother, on the other hand, would like to keep the child, but she is sick. And Tania doesn’t know how much help she can expect from her. « I’ve always been against abortion, but now, in this difficult situation, I’m actually thinking about it», she tells the counselor.

 

Lots of e-mails

The counselor keeps up a lively exchange with Tania. She wants it to be in writing, because she would only cry on the phone. He suggests that she not let herself be influenced by her boyfriend’s remarks about rejecting the child. «How about trying to give in to the feeling of being a mother? Imagine how it would be if you could hold the child tenderly in your arms one day, and the child is smiling at you?»

Tania is afraid of making other people unhappy with her decision. Whatever she decides, it seems to her, she will make someone unhappy: if she aborts, her boyfriend will be happy. She herself would probably have a hard time living with it. If she keeps the child, her mother will be happy. But Tania is not sure if she would be happy herself. Therefore, her fear of making a mistake by keeping the baby doesn’t leave her alone. «I really have no idea what I should do. I have the impression that I will be a bad person no matter what I end up doing», she writes the counselor.

 

Tania withdraws into herself

Into this situation the gynecologist tells Tania that her baby’s heart is not beating yet, that it will not start beating until the end of the seventh week. Tania asks the counselor what he thinks. He points out that scientists have determined that the baby’s heart starts beating on the 16th day of pregnancy, i. e. in the third week after fertilization. Tania’s pregnancy, however, is much further along at this point. So the child’s heart is already beating!

Now there is silence for a few days. Then Tania writes to the counselor: by sharing all the questions that were moving her, she was able to do a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion to keep the baby!  «Thank you for your letters and your organization. You have helped me a lot. It is wonderful to receive outside help. I am very grateful to you!»

 

Birth and Happiness

Her boyfriend, annoyed by this development, tries for a while to change Tania’s mind. Then he breaks up with her. But Tania is happy about her decision to have the child and thanks the counselor again for supporting her in her struggle to choose.

Weeks later, the child’s father apologizes to Tania for his behavior. He wants to try to reconcile. This is a slow process, but as the time of the birth approaches, he stands by her again.

«I am so happy. Thank you so much for everything!», Tania writes to the counselor after the birth of her son. She is very touched that the SAMC continues to be there for her and her baby, supporting her with the costs of her child until her situation stabilizes.