Mrs. E.: «I am so glad that I listened to my heart.»
Mother of several children sees her aborted child as alive
The SAMC hotline, which is available around the clock, received a call on a Sunday morning, shortly before six o’clock, from Mrs. E., a 31-year-old mother. She is pregnant again and doesn’t know what to do. She sees an enormous burden looming.
Mrs. E. can immediately pour out her heart to a counselor, who listens calmly in order to understand the woman’s situation.
Already had an abortion
The counselor learns that Mrs. E. has four children. The oldest is only eight years old. She has already had one abortion because she thought no one could or would help her. In addition, she was exposed to pressure from her social circle – among others, from a family counseling center supported by public funds and from a psychiatrist. The latter even said that the unborn child was not yet a human being, and that whoever says otherwise is a fanatic! Now she is afraid of being put under pressure again.
Her husband has an drinking problem. After the abortion he became depressed. He accuses her of killing his child. His salary is not enough for the family, so Mrs. E. goes to work 50%. There no relatives for her to turn to for support.
The counselor takes great pains to make it clear to the mother that help is really possible in her case. The two agree to continue the contact and the search for a solution.
Encouragement in the ups and downs
During the next conversation, the counselor hears that Mrs. E. has spoken with her psychiatrist about the new pregnancy. He still thinks that she should have an abortion, even though she couldn’t cope with the first one. The counselor tells Mrs. E. that the psychiatrist is going too far here. She promises support and guidance and explains to her how the SAMC helps pregnant women and mothers in need.
Many conversations follow, which give the counselor an understanding of Mrs. E.’s ups and downs. She experiences her new pregnancy also as a result of the earlier abortion. Because of this, she tells the counselor, she sometimes has moments in which she experiences only darkness. The counselor recommends that she contact her whenever this happens.
Mrs. E. also lets the counselor know that she suffers from having so little education. She had never been encouraged. She was always told to go to work. As with all her questions and concerns, the counselor responds to this grief with continued patience. She encourages her and points out an interesting educational opportunity that is open to her – even if not right away.
Real help is stronger than advice to get an abortion
Because of her precarious situation, the SAMC already supports the family mother during the pregnancy with clothes and also with diapers for two of her children. Mrs. E. is overwhelmed:«You do that?» she asks in amazement.
This tangible support and also the encouragement from the counselor about her worries allow her to resist the pressure from those around her to have an abortion and help her to place herself completely on the side of her child. Now she decides in favor of her child, and her heart immediately feels lighter: «I’m so glad I didn’t have an abortion», she reveals to the counselor a little later.
Shortly before the birth, the SAMC counselor helps Mrs. E. to organize for the care of her children during the birth and the postpartum period. Then, Mrs. E. gives birth to a healthy baby. «I’m so glad I listened to my heart and didn’t have an abortion», she lets the counselor know again, adding, «Thank you so much for your support! It’s good that you exist!»
She is very happy about the birth of her child. However, she also describes something else she experiences: «I still feel my aborted baby hovering around and I even see the child as alive!»
The SAMC also continues to stand by this mother of several children after the birth and supports her with the costs of her newborn. In addition, it also helps her overcome the trauma of abortion.