Mrs. D. to the counselor: "When I look at my daughter, I often think of you and our conversations."
How Saying Yes to a Child Became the Way to Happiness
Viewed from the outside, the life of Mrs. D. (31) has not been a picnic. Her husband was seriously ill a few years ago. After his recovery, he had to find a new career. The couple has two children, the younger of whom is only one year old. The family’s income is very modest. Mrs. D. wants to finally escape the daily struggle of keeping to her budget. That’s why she plans on getting a job as soon as possible. But then she becomes pregnant again.
Mrs. D. is desperate. She does not think that she and her husband will be able to support the family with three children and therefore considers abortion. But she also feels that she needs advice and so she contacts a state-run family planning center. They advise her to say during her gynecological exam that she is considering an abortion and thus should not be allowed to look at the baby during the ultrasound. While looking for more advice, she also comes across the SAMC website and contacts its toll-free number 0800 811 100.
A major crisis and many questions
A counselor listens carefully to Mrs. D. in order to understand her and to get an initial overview of her situation. She describes the assistance she can expect from the SAMC under certain conditions: financial support, not only for her third child, but also for her one-year-old; plus material help in obtaining equipment for the child. She also offers to talk to Mrs. D. about the possible consequences of an abortion, which she gladly accepts. She also tells her that the abortion cannot be reversed, even if she eventually regrets it.
A week after the first talk, Mrs. D. calls again and says she is still undecided. The thought of not being able to go to work to supplement the family budget weighs too heavily on her. In the meantime, she has seen the heart beating during the ultrasound. But that doesn’t make it any easier for her. She still wavers between having an abortion and keeping the child. She does not see how her poor financial situation can improve in the near future, especially with another child.
During their discussions, the counselor makes the very insecure mother understand that her difficulties are not insurmountable, especially because of the help provided by the SAMC. She encourages her to accept her baby. In fact, over time, Mrs. D. becomes more positive about the child and, thanks to the help the SAMC has offered her, finally decides to keep her child.
Abortion now “unrealistic”
Now Mrs. D.begins to experience a change : After the decision in favor of the child, the gynecological check-ups become a real joy for her. She tells the counselor: “It was so nice to see the baby bouncing and being so lively! I am so happy with our decision!” She sincerely thanks the counselor for their conversations and specifically mentions that they played a role in her decision to have the baby. She is also happy that in her family the excitement about the baby is increasing. Looking back, it seems “unrealistic” to her to have ever thought about abortion.
Birth and happiness
Mrs. D. recently gave birth to a healthy daughter. Again, she expresses gratitude for the counselor’s encouragement: “When I look at my daughter, I often think of you and our conversations.” But she is also grateful for the financial and material help. Mrs. D. is overjoyed: “Every step, every development she makes”, she writes about her little daughter, “reminds me of how lucky I am to have her. I am so glad I did not decide otherwise!”