A happy mother with her child.
A SAMC Counselor helps Mrs. B. to have the courage for her fourth child.

Fear overcome thanks to wise words

After suffering several profound crises in her life, Mrs. B. (32) has managed to find a harmonious lifestyle. Everything fits together: her marriage, her three children, her living situation. That’s how it should stay. But when she discovers that she is pregnant again, she sees the whole harmony in danger. In addition, her past crises suddenly resurface.

Many questions arise for Mrs. B. and she considers having an abortion. Confused about how to proceed, she looks for help. She finds SAMC on the Internet and contacts the emergency call center.

Previous crises combined with fears for the future

Soon, the desperate family mother is able to explain her distress to a long-time and experienced SAMC counselor. She talks a lot about her past. She had struggled with psychological problems and now it seems to her that she is reliving the earlier crises. She is afraid that she will not be able to cope with all the changes that will come with another child. Her mother is in favor of an abortion. And her gynecologist also recommends that she make a decision about abortion quickly since she could still have an abortion now with the pill.

Her husband on the other hand, she says, is looking forward to having another child. It stresses her out that she is endangering her family if she does not keep her child. All the more so when one of her children asks her if she is pregnant. The fact that she wasn’t able to give him an answer bothers her very much.

The counselor now asks the pregnant woman what she thinks it would take for her to be able to go on with the child. He makes it clear to her that her fears do not stem from the pregnancy, but from situations she has experienced in the past. He helps her to better understand and to process her feelings so that she can confidently take the next steps in life. Finally, he tries to draw her attention to the fact that a harmonious life situation does not have to be the highest thing she can achieve in her life. He promises to give her any necessary support and help, whereupon she expresses her desire to remain in contact with him.

Significant exchange with counselor

In the time that follows, a lively exchange develops between Mrs. B. and the counselor. She simply cannot imagine the future with another child. Apart from these difficulties, she is also plagued by the question of whether it is right to give birth to another human being at all. Sadness and feelings of guilt come up in her. After all, there is no prospect of a continued positive course of world events. The counselor now encourages her to not decide against her child, who would play a valuable and central role in her own world, because of vague fears.

The focus on the child

Through the discussions with the counselor, Mrs. B. becomes increasingly aware of what she wants to stand for in life. She becomes convinced that everything will have a meaning for her one day. She can now see more and more positive things in her pregnancy. Finally, she decides to have her child.

Focusing on the child now spurs her on to look for solutions. When she visits the SAMC with her family, she thanks the counselor for his encouraging words, which helped her to stay true to herself despite all her worries and to accept the prospect of life with another child.

When Mrs. B. announces to her circle of acquaintances that she is pregnant with her fourth child, she has to hear from some that there are already too many people in the world. But such reactions do not take away her happiness about the baby. Her fears from the past have given way to the joy of having her baby. She is now more relaxed about the future. We can’t know the future, she says to the counselor, and we shouldn’t act as if it belongs to us.

Her husband and children are thrilled when the baby arrives. And Mrs. B. celebrates her happiness of saying yes to the child. In retrospect, she lets the counselor know, an abortion would not have been in line with what she is otherwise convinced of. The SAMC remains in contact with the mother of four and provides her with financial and material assistance as needed.