Dora finally conquers her fear and lets her beautiful daughter be born. (Staged photograph; © 123rf/famveldman)
A Climb That Began From The Bottom
Dora (36), mother of one girl (2), is going through difficult times. Her husband, who is much older than her, is ill and has been unemployed for a while. Their small daughter is draining for Dora, but harder for her to bear is the depression she has been suffering since an earlier abortion. Because of it, she is unable to work. She feels too weak to be able to do it. The family leads a life full of deprivation, dependent on social services. Therefore, when Dora discovers that she is expecting another child, it is like being struck by lightning.
The pregnant mother is afraid that with a second child, their desolate situation will cement itself. She therefore considers aborting, and tells her friend what she is thinking. This friend has heard of the SAMC, and immediately calls the helpline.
Every Thought of the Future Causes Fear
A male and a female counsellor visit the pregnant woman at her home as soon as possible and get to know her dilemma. The husband is 100% sure that he does not want another child. He has already had several operations and still has health problems. Besides that, he is addicted to gambling: all the available money in their household disappears into slot machines as soon as it appears. She suffers from having to cope in the times when they don’t even have enough money to cover the basics. There is often nothing edible anywhere in the household. The refrigerator is usually empty. She is afraid that a second child will only make the situation worse, and thinks this fiasco can only be avoided through an abortion.
But also the abortion makes her afraid. She has been receiving psychiatric care for years and needs medication to control her depression. Dora attributes it directly to her previous abortion. Every future scenario, therefore, fills her with dread and fear.
The goal now is to help Dora to overcome her fear of what she sees as inevitable. The counsellors promise her that the SAMC can help enough to make her situation possible to deal with. For Dora, this is a ray of hope. She hands over all of the documents to the SAMC that are necessary to clarify her need.
The Sympathetic Hearts of the Counsellors
The paperwork shows that the family is living well beneath the poverty line. For the counsellors the situation is clear – Dora needs to feel secure as quickly as possible to prevent her from panicking and nevertheless aborting. They therefore offer the family immediate help through food vouchers from a major supermarket and material help for their two-year-old girl.
When Dora later comes to the SAMC for a meeting, she reveals another problem to the counsellors: there are serious marital difficulties. Her husband is intimidating and aggressive. The suffering woman is grateful for the chance to be able to discuss finally possible courses of action. Her husband is also still pushing for the abortion – despite the help currently being received from the SAMC. Before she leaves, she is thrilled to receive pretty maternity clothes from the counsellor.
She realizes now that in the SAMC she has found people who understand her and who support her. «Thanks to the SAMC, I don’t feel alone any more», she says. «I am so glad that I found you.»
Happily, Dora is able to get over her fear of another birth and to accept her unborn baby. There is no more talk of an abortion, and a beautiful baby girl is allowed to be born.
Content to be a Mother, and Braver as a Woman
Dora appreciates being able to keep on talking to the counsellors about the problems with her husband. They support her idea of a separation from him until he can kick his gambling addiction. This allows her to concentrate better on the needs of her family and to gain strength while continuing to hope that her relationship to her husband will soon improve.
In the meantime, the Foundation provides the mother and her two children with the necessary supplies, while continuing the regular contributions for their daily needs. Dora never tires of thanking her counsellors for all the help she is receiving. She is deeply grateful that she kept her second daughter, and gladly devotes herself to caring for her and showering her with attention.